Battle 9: Cloak and Dagger - 16th May 2009
Location - Interversion Ship Interior

INTERVERSION SHIP used TEAR!
INTERVERSION SHIP got an EAR full of TEA!
Why doesn't SVWEBMASTER fix this goddamn thing?
I already told you, I'd only be able to fix it if I had a freaking clue how this thing was meant to work. The design is insane.
An ASPECT of you BUILT it!
I'd have thought you'd know me well enough by now to know that that only increases the chance of it being insane and me having no clue how it's meant to work.
INTERVERSION SHIP used BREAK!
INTERVERSION SHIP REEKED of BEE!
BEE appeared!
BEE wants to fight!
...You are kidding me.
BEE used BUZZ!
BEE buzzed SVWEBMASTER!
Swat.
SVWEBMASTER used SWAT!
SVWEBMASTER buzzes BEE with lots of WATTS!
BEE fainted!
...Uhh...
NARRATOR decided that it wanted to NARRATE some sort of BATTLE this week than not, and has a hunch this week is just going to be SET UP stuff for a BIG CLIMAX next week!
...You really need a hobby, you know?
NARRATOR tried GEOCACHING once!
Oh, that's pretty fun. How'd you find it?
BORING!
How so?
NARRATOR NARRATED itself to the LOCATION of the CACHE, NARRATED the CACHE appearing, did the SWAPSIES bit, NARRATED the CACHE going back into HIDING, and left!
...Oh. Well, yeah, if you do it like that, I can imagine it would be rather.
Why aren't we USING a PORTAL again?
Because, firstly I'm powerless without any of my cloak, which SVFakemaster currently is wearing, and secondly, we need SVFakemaster to not know I'm free for me to alleviate that problem.
Nice EXPOSITION!
I thank you. Remember; don't narrate my appearance until you absolutely have to.

Location - Sandy Desert

Aaaargh, how many grains of sand must I rip from where they lie in order to find this stupid portal!
Wait... Battle mode? That means that the traitorous Narrator is back...
INTERVERSION SHIP appeared!
NARRATOR used EXIT!
NARRATOR got out of the RUST BUCKET!
NARRATOR appeared!
NARRATOR never wants to GET INTO it again!
...Umm... What? But you narrated its appearance... So how did you appear after-- How the Flame Version did you do that?!
SVFAKEMASTER is confused!
...
SVFAKEMASTER destroyed an INNOCENT part of REALITY in its confusion!
And NARRATOR was looking forward to NARRATING a battle in the SANDY SANDS GOLF RESORT too!
NARRATOR is a NARRATOR!
NARRATOR cares not for your primitive LOGIC!
Way to completely not answer my question, good job!
NARRATOR tries :D
Sarcasm is obviously lost on you.
Now, tell me why I shouldn't kill you right here and now.
...meep!
NARRATOR... TOOK CARE of SVWEBMASTER for you!
...Nice to hear. I can't say I said what you were responding to, but I sure was thinking it. How odd.
Odd indeed.
...
...The cloning process must have gone wrong! I'm losing stability!
SVFAKEMASTER is a clone of SVWEBMASTER!
Like SVFAKEMASTER had STABILITY to LOSE!
Oh shut up... I seem to be dividing into two; and one of my halves has a death wish against the other! Now is not the time for jokes!
This is POKEBATTLES!
It is always time for JOKES!
...
What do you get when you CROSS a PERSONIFICATION of TIME and a GUN?
CHRONO TRIGGER!
Now available for DS!
...Oh gods.
What do you get when you CROSS a PERSONIFICATION of TIME and a STEREOTYPICALLY LAME JOKE?
Dear hell another one.
Why did you have to go and set him off like that?
CHRONO CROSS!
Still not available in EUROPE!
Let's hope this chain of awful jokes is over, other half of myself.
What do you get when you CROSS a VIDEOGAME with TORTURE?
Oh, that one's easy. Pokebattles.
You're only encouraging it, you know.
ROGUELIKES!
...
What do you get when you CROSS a VIDEOGAME with TORTURE and LAME JOKES?
...Nethack, if the last one was RLs generally.
Though it still works with--
POKEBATTLES!
...That.
NARRATOR doesn't know what came over it!
A desire to scare off readers, perhaps?
Indeed, it sure looks that way. Of course, it might have been a cunning distraction.
From what?
YOINK!
That!
SVWEBMASTER used YOINK!
What the?
SVWEBMASTER yoinked CLOAK of SAND!
SVWEBMASTER retroactively appeared 42 lines ago!
...CLOAK of SAND used RIP!
SVFAKEMASTER is wearing HALF a CLOAK of SAND!
SVWEBMASTER is holding HALF a CLOAK of SAND!
SVWEBMASTER ran away!
How in the hell, you said you took care of...
...Oh. How deviously misleading.
NARRATOR wonders if SVFAKEMASTER might have also been mistaken about the death of HAUNTER_UK!
Considering how often that ghost is getting mentioned, I'm beginning to wonder that myself.
NARRATOR ran away!
Get back here so I can kill you both!

Location - Sand Forrest Poetry Corner
Player - Dave [3-1-0]

...I must admit, that exceeded my expectations.
Eh, he's usually better than that.
I'm not really a poetry fan, but that was great.
Glad to know you enjoyed it. I'd suggest 'same time next week' but there's been a shift of power... I suspect SVWebmaster has acquired the cloak of sand. Which means we need to go back to that hell hole that you call home.
...No way is it a hell hole. Flame version is far higher quality.

Read/Post feedback on this battle