Battle 2: Respecting One's Elders - 28th March 2009
Location - Pokemart
Player - Dave [1-0-0]

...Oh, wow. A positive battle record in Sandy Version. That's a novelty. Doubt it'll last long.
NARRATOR wonders why DAVE is DRAGGING it SHOPPING!
I'm not, you decided to pick me grabbing some pokeballs to start narrating my activities, rather than when I was picking up good old Heave Chunk Of Metal...
NARRATOR is a LITTLE out of it!
Yeah, wondered why it sounds like your text is partially coming from the other side of that wall...
You could have a lie down, might make you feel better.
NARRATOR has been LIEING DOWN all WEEK!
Really? Any reason for that?
NARRATOR NARRATED DAVE in...
In...
...
NARRATOR NARRATED DAVE in a BATTLE that DAVE actually WON!
NARRATOR took a WEEK to RECOVER from the SHOCK!
NARRATOR is glad NARRATOR RECOVERED in time for BATTLE 2!
...SANDY READERS wish NARRATOR had stayed in BED!
...The way you're acting right now, so do I...
DAVE used FORGET!
DAVE FORGOT NARRATOR is in CONTROL of DAVE's REALITY!
NARRATOR used VEILED THREAT!
Its not very... veilective?
...
...
Leave the NARRATION to the PROFESSIONALS kthx!
So... What are you going to do while I'm in here?
NARRATOR isn't sure!
NARRATOR would have a CASHIER fight, but...
...Yeah, since when has Sandy emulated the plot free days of red?
NARRATOR mumbled SOMETHING about SANDY going for a HIDEOUS PLOT involving TIME TRAVEL and a DOOMPUFF SPINOFF!
...Guwha? Doompuff spin--
NARRATOR mumbled it TOO QUIETLY for DAVE to HEAR!
...Uhh... But... You said...
...That's not GOING to get you to FORGET about NARRATOR NARRATING about NARRATOR MUMBLING is it?
...No.
NARRATOR used AMNESIA!
NARRATOR clonked DAVE over the HEAD with a LARGE WEIGHT!
DAVE FORGOT the past NINE lines including THIS ONE!
NARRATOR points out how PLOT FREE last week's BATTLE was ^^;
...What's with the sweatdrop?
...What SWEATDROP?
The one next to the anime style eyes? That you used instead of an explanation mark?
...NARRATOR is EXPERIMENTING with a more VISUAL style of NARRATION?
Yeah, that's it!
NARRATOR was ATTEMPTING to CONVEY NARRATION through VISUAL IMAGERY!
...Specifically?
NARRATOR's attack, apparently, failed!
...Now we've established that you're not going to be Narrating for any hypothetical webcomic based 'graphite version' to go alongside the audio based wave version, care to tell me what the hell you were trying to Narrate before?
NARRATOR was trying to NARRATE that... Uhh...
Umm...
TWO holes in the ROOF appeared!
TORRENTIAL RAIN appeared!
HOLES in ROOF used LEAK!
Critical hit!
DAVE is super soggy!
TORRENTIAL RAIN disappeared!
...Riiight.
Narrator, can I ask you something?
DAVE can!
OK, so... Are you--
DAVE used CAN!
DAVE did a CAN CAN!
...You finished?
Yeah, go ahead!
...Are you hiding something from me?
...Whatever gave DAVE that IDEA!
Well, I get the feeling I'm missing nine lines of this battle from my memory, and you've been acting flakier than usual all battle.
NARRATOR is... Uhh... DISTRACTED is all!
...Yeah, that's exactly what I mean. Your Narration is all hesitant, like you're reluctant to tell me something...
...
...Oh god has SVWebmaster revealed to you spoilers about me dieing a horrible death at some point in the future?
NARRATOR guffaws!
...Oh. Right. That implies SVWebmaster actually plans anything ahead. Never mind.
So... What is it that you don't want me to know?
NARRATOR used DISTRACTION!
YOUNGSTER appeared!
YOUNGSTER used EYE CONTACT with DAVE!
YOUNGSTER wants to fight!
Heavy Chunk of Metal, I choose you!
DAVE sent out HECHOFME!
NARRATOR's DISTRACTION was super effective!
YOUNGSTER sent out RATTATA!
...Hechofme, use body slam!
RATTATA used tackle!
...
...
Lets just say RATTATA is in critical condition!
...Right.
RATTATA used FRUSTRATION!
RATTATA is FRUSTRATED at how daft YOUNGSTER is for making it TACKLE a HEAVY CHUNK OF METAL headed for RATTATA at HIGH SPEED!
YOUNGSTER looks SHEEPISH and MUTTERS something about how SHORTS are COMFY and WARM!
RATTATA moans about that being YOUNGSTER's response to EVERYTHING!
RATTATA thinks JAMES would make a BETTER TRAINER!
RATTATA decides that it would LOVE to be STOLEN by TEAM ROCKET!
ARBOK appeared!
WEEZING appeared!
ARBOK hits the ground, hard!
WEEZING hits the ground, hard!
ARBOK fainted!
WEEZING fainted!
...Uhh... The hell was that?
...NARRATOR isn't sure!
...I guess that's Team Rocket's pokemon?
NARRATOR thinks so...
...TEAM ROCKET, however, did not appear!
Wow. That's the first time I've seen Sandy Version not go with the obvious.
...The nonsensical part, on the other hand, seems par the course...
NARRATOR echos DAVE's insult about the WRITING!
Anyway, HECHOFME, finish it off, use a sharp corner attack.
HECHOFME used SHARP CORNER!
HECHOFME has a SHARP CORNER!
RATTATA decides it would be BETTER OFF JUMPING on said SHARP CORNER than seeing what HORRIBLY PAINFUL METHOD of fainting YOUNGSTER provides for it!
RATTATA fainted!
YOUNGSTER sent out PIDGY!
...NARRATOR thinks TWO WINS in a ROW will be a RECORD for DAVE!
...Yeah. Cheers for the backhanded cheering, there...
DAVE CHEERS NARRATOR's CHEERS!
Its super cheery!
...Uhh... Anyways, Hechofme, use your heavy attack!
HECHOFME used HEAVY!
PIDGY became HEAVY!
PIDGY used FLY!
PIDGY is HEAVY!
PIDGY's attack failed!
PIDGY used FALL instead!
PIDGY FELL on HECHOFME!
HECHOFME has SHARP CORNERS!
PIDGY took heavy damage!
Hechofme, cut!
HECHOFME used CUT!
HECHOFME wonders if DAVE would prefer LEG or BREAST!
Oooh, breast please.
...PIDGY fainted in fright!
YOUNGSTER sent out YOUNGSTER!
YOUNGSTER used SHORTS!
YOUNGSTER is wearing SHORTS!
...God, do you only have one line of dialogue?
YOUNGSTER thinks SHORTS are COMFY and WARM!
...I'll take that as a yes.
Hechofme, think you could try and confer your inanimate object speaking style to Youngster?
HECHOFME used SILENCE VIRUS!
YOUNGSTER was INFECTED with SILENCE VIRUS!
YOUNGSTER used BOOK DISCUSSION!
YOUNGSTER discussed LITERATURE with HECHOFME!
HECHOFME doesn't respond!
YOUNGSTER took damage from the VIRUS!
...Uhh... Hechofme, use slash?
HECHOFME used SLASH!
HECHOFME through a SANDSLASH at YOUNGSTER!
SANDSLASH wonders what it did to HECHOFME!
YOUNGSTER took damage!
SANDSLASH ran away!
YOUNGSTER used LARGE PROJECT!
YOUNGSTER contributed to POKEBATTLES REVIVAL EFFORT!
YOUNGSTER took damage from the VIRUS!
...Hmm, should be weak enough now...
Sorry, kid, I don't usually go for humans as pokemon, but, I can't stand to see innocent normal types so badly hurt due to trainer incompetence...
...DAVE knows a LOT about TRAINER INCOMPETENCE!
Hey, I've got a perfect record so far!
Only because the RECORDS don't take into account PREVIOUS INCARNATIONS of SANDY!
...Anyway... Pokeball, go!
CASHIER: Now is not the time to use that.
...Isn't it normally Oak that says that?
OAK has no PROBLEM with DAVE using a POKEBALL now!
CASHIER refuses to let DAVE have a FREE SAMPLE of a POKEBALL!
CASHIER wants you to PAY for your POKEBALLS before using one!
...Not going to expand my pokemon collection today, then... Ah well, Hechofme, use tackle!
HECHOFME used TACKLE!
HECHOFME still has SHARP CORNERS!
it's super effective!
YOUNGSTER fainted!
Dave gained ¥89!
NARRATOR leaves before DISTRACTION wore off!

Location - Sandy Desert
Player - James [No Record]

...This is odd, Jessie. According to the map, there should be a pokemon for the catching right here.
JESSIE wonders if JAMES got the RIGHT BATTLE!
...Battle 2, line 93, and I know we arrived line 72. We were early, even!
JESSIE used SNATCH!
JESSIE SNATCHED map!
JESSIE used YELL!
JESSIE calls you a BLUNDERING IDIOT!
JESSIE also HITS you with a FAN!
...What did I do now?
JESSIE says JAMES had the MAP UPSIDE DOWN!
JESSIE says the POKEMON ready for STEALING is 67 miles away!

Location - Elsewhere

The figure in a cloak of sand lies on the bed, cradling the naked, bound, gagged man in his arms. He teases the naked man's nipples, whispering seductively into his ear. "You know... The revival's going well, and I'm already making progress in making my presence ubiquitous... All in your name, of course... Soon, the revived form of pokebattles will be mine to do as I please, and it would please me to see Sandy crumble to... Well.... Sand once I have the rest to play with... And there's nothing you can do about it," he pinches the naked man's right nipple, who winces at the sudden pain, "Except for moaning into your gag." This is exactly what the naked man does in response.

Location - Narrator's House.

...Oh GODDAMNIT!
...Why did NARRATOR go through all that STUFF making DAVE SUSPICIOUS that NARRATOR might be PROTECTING DAVE from SOME TERRIBLE TRUTH when NARRATOR could have FOBBED DAVE off with REMINDING DAVE about an EARLY SANDY PLOT with NARRATOR rather than NARRATOR!

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