Battle 3: Message in a Rocket - 4th April 2009
Location - Palm Springs

NARRATOR is GLAD to be FREE of DAVE for a week!
NARRATOR does not ENJOY not NARRATING things it KNOWS!
NARRATOR finds it DIFFICULT, to be perfectly HONEST!
NARRATOR wonders why it's NARRATING to itself!
NARRATOR watches the EXEGGUTOR, SQUIRTLES and PALM TREES relaxing in the PALM SPRINGS!
NARRATOR thinks that they're ACTING rather ODDLY!
Two ODDISHES take OFFENCE!
ODDISH on the right fainted!
ODDISH on the left--
ODDISH on the left apologised!
Much better!
NARRATOR wonders why POKEMON are all the same SIDE of the SPRINGS!
NARRATOR thought POKEMON would prefer to SPREAD OUT a bit!
SQUIRTLE gestures wildly!
Wild SQUIRTLE wants to SIGN!
SANDY VERSION deals in TEXT!
It's not very effective!
SQUIRTLE facefaults!
Fine, fine!
NARRATOR looks in the DIRECTION SQUIRTLE is GESTURING!
CARDBOARD BOX appeared!
It's super conspicuous!
NARRATOR thinks that EXPLAINS it!
CARDBOARD BOX used ARGUE!
CARDBOARD BOX appears to be YELLING at itself!
NARRATOR thinks that can't be right!
NARRATOR decides to investigate!

Location - Cardboard Box Interior
Player - James [0-0-0]

Jessie, for the twenty third time, this isn't going to work!
JESSIE calls you an IDIOT!
JESSIE yells at you for DOUBTING her BRILLIANCE!
JESSIE hits you over the HEAD with a FAN!
Ow! Look, ever since Meowth disappeared months back in that desert, we haven't been coming nearly as close to catching pokemon as we used to. You're just not as good at coming up with ideas as he is.
NARRATOR APPLAUDS JAMES on the EXPOSITION!
NARRATOR WONDERS why JESSIE and JAMES were DOING STUFF in SANDY when SANDY wasn't UPDATING!
...Just because a little internet site about this place no longer updates, doesn't mean life stops for us mortals.
...NARRATOR points out that this is a FICTIONAL SUBSECTION of a FICTIONAL UNIVERSE!
NARRATOR elaborates that by DEFINITION; it does!
...Well, the fact we have seems to prove that wrong.
JESSIE used YELL!
JESSIE tells you to stop ANTAGONISING the NARRATOR!
JESSIE hits you over the HEAD with a MALLET!
Sometimes I hate you, Jessie.
NARRATOR also WONDERS what the heck is with the RANDOM BOLD characters!
...What bold?
JESSIE shares JAMES's SENTIMENT!
JESSIE hits JAMES over the HEAD with a FAN anyway!
...STRONG, then!
Nope, still not using it.
JESSIE thinks JAMES is incapable of using STRONG!
JESSIE slaps JAMES over the HEAD to ILLUSTRATE!
I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop that!
JESSIE does not care!
JESSIE kicks you in the HEAD for a CHANGE of PACE!
NARRATOR WONDERS if not NARRATING things it KNOWS to DAVE might be DRIVING it INSANE!
NARRATOR thinks NARRATOR wouldn't be WONDERING about its SANITY if it were INSANE!
NARRATOR decides to LOOK the STRONG over after the BATTLE!
NARRATOR also WONDERS what the heck JESSIE and JAMES are doing in a CARDBOARD BOX in PALM SPRINGS!
Jessie, in her... heh... infinite wisdom... thought that we could sneak up on the pokemon here by hiding in a box.
...What is it with SANDY VERSION and REAL POKEMON lately, anyway!
This is pokebattles, why wouldn't there be real pokemon?
NARRATOR thinks JAMES has answered its own QUESTION!
NARRATOR goes on to POINT OUT that the CLOSEST POKEMON SANDY has to a MASCOT is a HEAVY CHUNK OF METAL!
...Touché.
NARRATOR wonders if JESSIE and JAMES know that CARDBOARD BOX is SCARING the POKEMON away from them!
See, I told her that would happen, but no! She just had to hide us in a cardboard box that clashed with the environs and is only big enough to house one comfortably.
JESSIE tells JAMES that it WORKS for SNAKE!
JESSIE gave a dreamy sigh!
NARRATOR is a little creeped out!
Welcome to my world.
NARRATOR guesses JESSIE hasn't encountered the ANTI-SQUEE in MGS4 yet!
JESSIE used YELL!
JESSIE yells at JAMES for RUINING her plans to STEAL MONEY to BUY a PS3!
JESSIE hits JAMES over the HEAD with a PS2!
NARRATOR apologises!
JESSIE wonders why!
NARRATOR feels BAD for ENRAGING JESSIE at JAMES!
...Not your fault she's insane.
JESSIE is INSULTED!
JESSIE hits JAMES over the HEAD with CARDBOARD BOX!
...

Location - Palm Springs

CARDBOARD BOX disappeared!
JESSIE appeared!
JAMES appeared!
...Oh thank Narrator, fresh air and leg room!
NARRATOR isn't used to being WORSHIPED as a GOD!
NARRATOR... Kinda likes it!
JESSIE demands JAMES LOOK at what its DONE!
VARIOUS POKEMON PURPOSEFULLY ignore the BICKERING COUPLE airing their RELATIONSHIP TROUBLE for all to SEE!
...I fail to see how any of this is my fault; especially the pokemon mistaking us for a couple part.
JESSIE wants to EJECT you from TEAM ROCKET!
I've been trying to convince you we need to disband since we lost Meowth, but you wouldn't have it!
JESSIE wants to fight!
Finally, a chance to get some payback on you for all these years of you beating me up!
Weezing, go!
JAMES sent out WEEZING!
JESSIE sent out ARBOK!
...Hang on, didn't we release these two quite a while back?
SVWEBMASTER is OLDSKOOL!
Aaanyway, Weezing, use your wheeze attack!
WEEZING used WHEEZE!
WEEZING told ARBOK a story!
ARBOK has HEARD it BEFORE!
ARBOK fell asleep!
...Not entirely sure I get that, but if it works don't complain.
NARRATOR isn't quite SURE how to take THAT!
Oh, I'd never dream of criticising your brilliance, Narrator... Who is it for a mere player such as myself to criticise your divine punning?
Sorry, NARRATOR isn't quite sure here!
Are you trying to use SUCK UP or WORSHIP?
...Worship, naturally.
JAMES used WORSHIP!
NARRATOR's happiness sharply rose :D
No effect on battle!
Out of curiosity, what would have happened had I used suck up?
Probably a PUN!
NARRATOR isn't sure WHICH of the two OBVIOUS ones, however!
So I was right to tell a... Umm... Truthful statement, then?
Either way NARRATOR could have SPUN it, PRETTY MUCH!
...Unless JAMES wants to meet NARRATOR after the BATTLE?
...Moving swiftly on...
Huh?
The battle, I'm fighting Jessie, remember?
Oh... OH!
NARRATOR got a bit DISTRACTED by the WORSHIP!
JESSIE used a WAKE UP on ARBOK!
...NARRATOR doesn't think that's a CONVENTIONAL way of doing it!
JESSIE doesn't care!
JESSIE hit ARBOK over the HEAD with a MALLET!
It's super effective!
ARBOK woke up!
...Yeah, a whack to the skull with a hammer will do that, as I have the bruises to testify to.
Anyway, Weezing, double hit it.
WEEZING used DOUBLE HIT!
ARBOK prepares for TROUBLE!
WEEZING makes it DOUBLE!
ARBOK decides to PROTECT the WORLD from DEVASTATION!
WEEZING wants to UNITE all PEOPLES within its NATION!
ARBOK will DENOUNCE the EVILS of TRUTH and LOVE!
WEEZING will EXTEND its REACH to the STARS ABOVE!
ARBOK!
WEEZING!
ARBOK says that TEAM ROCKET's POKEMON will BLAST OFF at the SPEED of LIGHT!
WEEZING thinks JESSIE and JAMES should SURRENDER NOW or PREPARE to FIGHT!
NARRATOR, that's right!
ARBOK and WEEZING ran away!
ARBOK and WEEZING did so VERTICALLY!
ARBOK and WEEZING broke the LIGHT SPEED BARRIER on takeoff!
RELATIVISTIC forces took hold! ...Umm... Use next pokemon?
UNLESS one or both of JESSIE and JAMES want to SURRENDER, of course!
JESSIE didn't realise how LAME the MOTTO was!
...No wonder we keep getting interrupted during it...
No matter, Victreebel, you're up!
JAMES sent out VICTREEBEL!
VICTREEBEL used EAT!
VICTREEBEL affectionately ATE JAMES!
...Let me out and fight the battle, please.
VICTREEBEL used RELEASE!
VICTREEBEL released JAMES from its MAWS!
JESSIE sent out WOBUFFET!
...Hmm... That doesn't have any attacks other than to return attacks back at the other pokemon.
...JAMES isn't planning--
So, if I just don't attack it...
Oh gods, JAMES is!
Lets see, the Narrator won't let me not do anything so... Victreebel, lets dance!
VICTREEBEL used DANCE!
VICTREEBEL is GETTING JIGGY with IT!
WOBUFFET used COUNTER!
WOBUFFET DANCED twice as HARD as VICTREEBEL!
JESSIE thinks this battle is going to get STUPID!
NARRATOR thinks it already has!
Oh! The Counter had an effect on that? Hey, Victreebel. How about one of your hugs?
VICTREEBEL used HUG!
VICTREEBEL ate JAMES!
JESSIE isn't sure how that QUALIFIES as a HUG!
WOBUFFET used COUNTER!
JESSIE blinks!
WOBUFFET tries to HUG JESSIE!
WOBUFFET lacks ARMS!
Its not very effective!
Hmm... That didn't work so good... Victreebel, why don't you bellyflop into the springs?
VICTREEBEL used BELLYFLOP!
VICTREEBEL did a BELLYFLOP!
VICTREEBEL took damage from the recall!
WOBUFFET used COUNTER!
WOBUFFET did a BELLYFLOP twice as hard!
WOBUFFET took damage from the recall!
OK, I think we're winning... Hey, Victreebel, see how long you can hold your breath underwater without fainting!
VICTREEBEL used BREATH HOLD!
VICTREEBEL held its BREATH for 5 minutes!
VICTREEBEL is out of BREATH!
WOBUFFET used COUN--
JESSIE withdrew WOBUFFET!
JESSIE sent out JESSIE!
JESSIE used MALLET LAUNCH!
VICTREEBEL was launched out of the ARENA by a MALLET!
VICTREEBEL ran away!
Dang, I'll have to send myself out.
JAMES sent out JAMES!
JAMES is in bad shape!
...Would you mind not insulting my weight, oh wonderful Narrator?
NARRATOR wasn't!
NARRATOR was refering to HP!
NARRATOR thinks JAMES has taken too many hits to be considered in good shape!
...I guess that puts me at a bit of a disadvantage for this battle, then...
NARRATOR agrees!
Now then... Jessie always seems to find my voice annoying, so...
James, use your fine voice to whine!
JAMES used WHINE!
JESSIE's patience sharply fell!
JESSIE used hit!
Not enough PP for that attack!
JESSIE settles for MALLET LAUNCH instead!
JAMES is LAUNCHED out of the ARENA by a MALLET!
Looks like James is blasting off agaiiiiiiii...
JAMES ran away!

Location - Sandy Molehill

JAMES appeared on the horizon!
JAMES used fall!
JAMES fell into VICTREEBEL's MAW!
Victreebel, I thought I'd lost you!
VICTREEBEL affectionately CHEWS!
OK, you can let me out now...
VICTREEBEL, return!
Hmm... Why's a Molehill significant enough for a location, anyway?
SANDY VERSION - Making MOUNTAINS out of MOLEHILLS for most of its EXISTENCE in VARIOUS FORMS!
Ah, that explains it.
NARRATOR realises that JAMES is no longer using RANDOM STRONG!
...I never was...
NARRATOR goes off to ANALYSE BATTLE!

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