Battle 5: A Fox in Your Pocket - 18th April 2009
Location - Aqua Town
Player - Dave [2-0-0]

...
...
...Aqua Town, huh?
...Sure LOOKS that way!
Not Sandy Blah like practically everything else?
APPARENTLY not!
...I take it from this you're as much in the dark as I am?
NARRATOR isn't even sure WHAT DAVE is doing HERE, yet alone why HERE is HERE and not SOMEWHERE else!
Oh, sorry, since there are actually real pokemon in Sandy Version these days, I thought it might be fun to, you know; actually go on a pokemon journey... Go through some major towns and cities, fight gym leaders, yadda yadda yah.
NARRATOR wishes its EXISTENCE were so EASY!
How so?
...Oh, practicing for that visual version you mentioned a few weeks back?
NARRATOR-- Wait, WHAT?
The one you mentioned you were practicing visual narration for...?
NARRATOR thinks DAVE might be REMEMBERING it WRONG!
...Huh? Guess my memories of that battle are kinda fuzzy, like I have partial amnesia of it...
...Aheh...
Huh?
Nothing!
...Riiiight, anyway...
I remember an evil youngster mistreating his pokemon, a Cashier who wouldn't let me use pokeballs before I purchased them, and you practicing a visual narration style.
...
...Oh THAT!
...Uhh... NARRATOR has been... PRACTICING OFFLINE? Yeah!
Well, I'd quite like to see it. Stick something up on Sandy somewhere so I can see...
...
Hey, it might appeal to the readers, too, you know, just to shake things up a bit...
...NARRATOR isn't so SURE!
Come-on, it'll be fun... You do want to actually have a chance of working somewhere with decent working conditions, as well as SVWebmaster's Narration slave, right?
...Man, I wish I could just apply for other versions like that...
...
...Please?
...Oh FINE!
When?
NARRATOR will have SOMETHING for DAVE next week!
Cool.
Anyway, YOU are GOING ON a POKEMON JOURNEY!
Yeah.
...That might EXPLAIN the LOCATION!
How so?
Don't POKEMON GAMES name all the TOWNS after COLOURS?
SVWEBMASTER is PROBABLY too LAZY to THINK UP COLOURS, or change the ORDER of COLOURS!
...So...?
THIS is PROBABLY AQUA TOWN because AQUA was the FIRST POKEBATTLES VERSION on the FIRST NETWORK!
...
NARRATOR thinks DAVE should probably stop before getting its 82nd BADGE!
Firstly, I thought you only needed 8 badges to take on the elite four...
DAVE expects SVWEBMASTER to STICK to THAT?
...Point, and secondly, why by 82?
NARRATOR doesn't feel like finding out about the area the COW BADGE can be obtained in!
...Uhh... I'm sure some insane plot will have taken over by then, anyway, so it won't have a chance of coming up.
NARRATOR sure hopes SVWEBMASTER isn't LAME enough to have a DOOMP--
!!!
Hm?
NOTHING!
NARRATOR just REMEMBERED something NARRATOR has to TAKE CARE of!
Aren't you going to Narrate me getting my first badge?
NARRATOR thinks it will GET BACK in TIME for that!
NARRATOR assumes DAVE can get into the AQUA TOWN GYM without NARRATOR's help!
...Thinking about it, it'll probably be easier that way. Less chance of Random inanimate objects wanting to fight that way...
NARRATOR runs away!

Location - Sandy Desert

NARRATOR appeared!
NARRATOR wonders what NARRATOR is MEETING!
...
NARRATOR sure hopes that the STRONG from JAMES wasn't its IMAGINATION!
GRAIN of SAND used SHIFT!
GRAIN of SAND shifted 1mm!
...Well THAT's sure SIGNIFICANT in a FREAKING SANDY DESERT!
...Huh?
GRAIN of SAND sized PORTAL appeared from the SPACE GRAIN of SAND was OCCUPYING!
Is NARRATOR meant to go through the PORTAL?
GIZENSHA appeared from the PORTAL!
Definitely not.
NARRATOR wonders how something so HUMAN SIZED can fit through a PORTAL so SMALL!
...I take exception to the 'human' part.
...NARRATOR isn't really in the MOOD for this kind of SHIT right now!
...And I'd answer that question but I can't be bothered taking the time to explain to one whose intellect is as limited as yours.
...NARRATOR really HOPES GIZENSHA didn't ASK NARRATOR here simply to INSULT NARRATOR!
Well, that would be wasting my time as well as yours, so your hopes are correct.
Then WHY?
SVWebmaster isn't SVWebmaster, but instead a clone. The cloning process occurred a few years back, when SVWebmaster decided he wanted to run more versions that anyone could in 7 days a week, despite the rest of PB not existing. Only Sandy originated from that, of course, and it only existed in the clone's head...
That EXPLAINS why JAMES was saying there was SANDY ACTIVITY while SANDY wasn't EXISTING!
...Anyway, the cloning process split me and that bloody ghost--
GHOST?
You know, haunter_uk?
...The HAUNTER of SANDY OLD who sometimes NARRATED?
Yes, I believe he was capable of that distasteful practice of Narration.
...DISTASTEFUL!
Yes, distasteful. Anyway, as I was saying, me and that bloody ghost was split off from the two SVWebmasters in the cloning process. SVWebmaster was captured by the clone, who was utterly insane--
How could GIZENSHA tell?
...Fair point.
As I was saying, the clone was a lunatic, and more powerful than either me or the ghost, due to having the cloak of sand. I managed to escape, fold a part of the forming Sandy Version into itself, and used that to hide in a pocket version of my own making. I should be about as powerful as the clone of SVWebmaster by now thanks to that, but, I think it best if we keep my continued existence hidden, he seems to think I'm dead.
NARRATOR thinks CLONE of SVWEBMASTER is an AWFULLY IMPRACTICAL way of SPECIFYING!
SVW--
Don't be so short-sighted, idiot! SVWebmaster's clone has no clue you know, if you rename him; he'll know you're onto him.
Now, I've got it pretty good, so I wouldn't be caring, but if SVWebmaster's clone starts a Network Domination campaign, he's going to trip over the pocket version I have hidden away, sans Narration I might add, especially if things keep falling into the pocket...
...FALLING into?
Yes, falling into. Actually I'm quite getting on with that Meowth that fell through; he has a regular poetry corner.
...
...What?
...
...GIZENSHA sounds like GIZENSHA has a PLAN!
I do, but it will cost you.
GIZENSHA was sounding DESPERATE!
I'm not as desperate as you are. It might cost me, sure, but, as I said, I should be about as powerful as SVWebmaster now; it'd probably be pretty even between us. You, on the other hand... Well, he doesn't care about Sandy. He'd probably neglect it...
...SANDY would be in RUINS!
Indeed.
...NARRATOR wonders why EVERY FREAKING SANDY PLOTLINE seems to be so APOCALYPTIC!
Doesn't happen in Sand Forrest at all.
...NARRATOR thinks that SAND FORREST is a LAME COLOUR!
Well, no-one asked your opinion. Anyway. My terms - You never enter Sand Forrest.
...
...Sure!
...
...What?
...The promises of a Narrator are empty.
NARRATOR doesn't really have ANYTHING ELSE!
Bah, we both know that's a lie. You're a Narrator. Whatever you narrate becomes reality.
...Uhh...
Narrate it.
...
...Well?
...Fine!
...NARRATOR dislikes limiting itself!
Yes, it's not uncommon for Narrators to have to resort to false omnipotence to compensate for their inadequacies...
...NARRATOR would APPRECIATE it if GIZENSHA would stop INSULTING it!
...And I'd appreciate it if you'd get on with it.
NARRATOR will NEVER ENTER SAND FORREST!
There, that wasn't so hard, now was it?
...And the PLAN is?
As I was about to say before you interrupted, SVWebmaster is being held in his bedroom in the real world, get Dave to come here whenever you can. While, and I don't believe I'm actually going to work with a Narrator, but while you and I confront SVWebmaster's clone, Dave will fly a ship of my construction through the network energies to Earth, since a portal would arouse too much suspicion, and rescue SVWebmaster. Then we gang up on the clone and I get back to my peaceful life outside of PB.
...DAVE will FLY THROUGH the NETWORK ENERGIES?
...Yeah, why?
...NARRATOR KNOWS the PLAN will FAIL!
What?
The SHIP will BREAK APART!
...How could you possibly know that?
NARRATOR has SEEN the RESULT of GIZENSHA's PLAN!
...
GIZENSHA used SNIFF!
GIZENSHA is... SNIFFING NARRATOR :(
...Narrator class being...
GIZENSHA's attack continued!
...Sandy Version native...
GIZENSHA's attack continued!
...From this time period... But...
GIZENSHA used SUPER SNIFF!
!!!
GIZENSHA used STEAL
GIZENSHA STOLE three EXPLANATION MARKS
NARRATOR feels NAKED without them
...Your have chronograins from the future... You've been to the future...
NARRATOR thinks CHRONOGRAINS is a STUPID PIECE of TECHNOBABBLE!
NARRATOR feels less SELF CONSCIOUS now that its EXPLANATION MARKS are back!
...
NARRATOR has seen SANDY VERSION in RUINS!
NARRATOR has also seen DAVE possessed by PURE NETWORK ENERGIES!
NARRATOR knows DAVE won't make it!
...A player exposed to pure network energies? And he survived?
At the COST of becoming something akin to a DOOMPUFF RIPOFF!
...I can't go, you and Dave would never stand a chance against SVWebmaster's clone if the two of you tried to hold him off... Oh no.
Huh?
No, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not.
NARRATOR wonders what GIZENSHA is FIRMLY AGAINST!
But... There's no one else who could... We're doomed.
...
There's no one other than me or Dave who could, well, or you but you're a Narrator.
NARRATOR can!
Well, yes, you could, but you'll cock it up somehow.
...
You're a Narrator, after all.
PREJUDICE doesn't suit you!
...Your entire existence is justified by ruining things for everyone else, how the--
NARRATOR is more than a JOB DESCRIPTION!
NARRATOR prefers to NOT be TERRORISED by INSANE WEBMASTERS!
NARRATOR just wants to NARRATE a LIGHT HEARTED, PLOT LIGHT, POKEMON PARODY!
Plot light?
PLOT LIGHT!
...And you got a job at Sandy?
NARRATOR knows!
...OK, fine. You'll go. But only because we have no choice. Me and Dave will hold SVWebmaster's clone off.
NARRATOR wonders how you'll get SVWEBMASTER to come to SANDY to HOLD SVWEBMASTER off!
By unpocketing Sand Forrest, materialising my subversion into the main Sandy Version, he'll have to show himself, even if he knows it's a trap, to defend his version.
Now then, if you'll excuse me, I have to finish the travelling device.
GIZENSHA disappeared through the PORTAL!
GRAIN of SAND used SHIFT!
GRAIN of SAND SHIFTED back over PORTAL!
NARRATOR ran away!

Aqua Town Gym

...
NARRATOR wonders why DAVE is nearly FAINTED in an empty DOORFRAME!
...Turns out, the door was a relative of my wardrobe and wanted revenge for me defeating its brother in combat.
...
...I thought that inanimate objects only did that sort of stuff because you thought it would be funny...
...NARRATOR did as well, actually!
Still, I now have two... Sorta... Pokemon...
DAVE caught it?
Yeah, I did.
Good for DAVE!
...Shame it OCCURRED out of BATTLE!
...Why?
SANDY is actually keeping RECORDS this time round!
...So?
ONLY things that happen in BATTLES count!
...Riiight...
Anyway, I need to take myself and my Door to a pokemon centre before I take on the gym leader, so...
...Oh ok!
NARRATOR ran away!

Narrator's house

NARRATOR used SKETCH!
NARRATOR started on APPEASING DAVE!

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