Battle 6: Nightmares in Aqua Town - 25th April 2009
Location - Aqua Town Gym
Player - Dave [2-0-0]

Say, Narrator, you got that visual battle up?
NARRATOR has!
Well, where is it?
It is HERE!
...Uhh... It's... Interesting...
...Go on!
...Umm... I like the visual gags you've got in there?
NARRATOR isn't DETECTING much ENTHUSIASM here!
...
...It's not all that well drawn?
DAVE used WINCE!
DAVE seems to THINK NARRATOR doesn't KNOW it can't DRAW!
NARRATOR points that the ART QUALITY is why NARRATOR had to be TALKED into doing this by DAVE!
...Oh...
...Anyways...
Right then, gym leader who I don't know the name of! I challenge you to a battle for whatever badge you guard!
TUMBLEWEED appeared!
TUMBLEWEED used TUMBLE!
TUMBLEWEED tumbled as it ran away!
Huh?
NARRATOR wonders if DAVE has ACTUALLY played a POKEMON GAME!
...Sure I have. I mean, pretty useless as far as preparation to living life in Sandy is concerned, but...
Long TIME ago, huh?
Yeah, it was Red, why?
RED VERSION! Now updating WEEKLY!
...Wow. The PB revival must be going better than I expected it to.
NARRATOR thinks DAVE is FORGETTING SOMETHING!
...Uhh...?
...
NARRATOR sighs!
...I wish you wouldn't, I think I'm coming down with a cold and sudden drafts like that are only going to aggravate it.
NARRATOR used SPELL!
It's not very effective!
Stupid SVWEBMASTER and its INABILITY to SPELL!
NARRATOR reminds DAVE of the ARBITRARY PUZZLES in POKEMON GYMS!
...Yeah, but this is pokebattles, so why would such arbitrary puzzles be needed?
DAVE was the one who DECIDED to ACTUALLY go on a POKEMON JOURNEY!
Hey, don't pin this on me, you're the guy controlling reality here!
NARRATOR didn't CREATE this WORLD!
NARRATOR just DECIDES what HAPPENS in it!
...So then decide that the gym leader appears so I can take him... Or her... Actually given this is Sandy I'm expecting an it, even ignoring Narrator pronoun preferences...
...NARRATOR wonders if this SENTENCE is GOING ANYWHERE!
...Uhh, sorry...
...Umm, I believe I was about to say 'on.'
NARRATOR only DECIDES what HAPPENS in it to a POINT!
That POKEMON GYMS have ARBITRARY PUZZLES is a PROPERTY of the WORLD!
So, what's the puzzle?
...NARRATOR thinks that FIGURING that out is PART of the PUZZLE!
...Right, so...
...
...Come'on... You know how my senses get while you're around...
...
...Are you broken?
NARRATOR is waiting for the MAGIC WORDS!
...Narration's your job, though...
SCENERY DESCRIPTION isn't part of NARRATOR's JOB!
What do you think NARRATOR is? STORY MODE!
...Please, then?
PLEASE is a MAGIC WORD!
PLEASE is not the MAGIC WORDS!
...Could you at least give me a hint?
KIDS TV!
...That's a category, not a hint.
HUGO MYATT!
Knightmare?
HINT appeared!
...My hint is Knightmare?
DAVE used CATCH!
DAVE caught on!
Uhh... Knightmare, knightma-- Oh!
Where am I?
You are in a ROOM!
...How... Specific and useful...
SARCASM does not SUIT DAVE!
There is a TABLE in the MIDDLE of the ROOM!
On the TABLE is a GOLD BAR, some SOAP, a KNIFE, and an APPLE!
There is an EXIT in the FRONT RIGHT of the ROOM!
...Go on a pokemon journey on a pokemon parody site; walk into a game of Knightmare. I swear I hate this Version sometimes.
...Hang on, shouldn't there be a scroll and spyglass if this is a clue room?
NARRATOR prefers SEASON 1!
...Gah!
What?
That has a 100% death rate!
So?
I don't want to die!
DAVE shouldn't worry too much!
So says the immortal!
NARRATOR likes DAVE!
NARRATOR doesn't want DAVE to DIE!
DAVE also OVERESTIMATES NARATOR's godhood!
...Umm... OK, anyway... I take the apple?
DAVE took the APPLE!
DAVE put the APPLE in its KNAPSACK!
DAVE was FULLY HEALED!
...I was already at full health, and... What knapsack?
DAVE shouldn't QUESTION it!
DAVE should just go with it!
RIDDLE time!
...No appearance by a wall monster?
Nah!
NARRATOR is just USING this as a PLOT DEVICE!
NARRATOR needs DAVE to get TWO for this to WORK!
...Remind me of the rules...
...Surely DAVE knows considering DAVE can QUOTE the DEATH RATE of a SEASON!
...Yes, but I'm pretty sure most of our readers are American, and won't have seen the show you're using here...
...Most?
...More than half, less than all?
NARRATOR wonders how that WORKS with TWO READERS!
DAVE probably has a POINT, though!
Fine!
NARRATOR will ask DAVE three RIDDLES carefully RESEARCHED from WIKIPEDIA!
If DAVE gets 1/3, DAVE passes UNHARMED!
If DAVE gets 2/3, DAVE gets gifted KNOWLEDGE!
If DAVE gets 3/3, DAVE gets to gifted KNOWLEDGE and MAGIC!
If DAVE gets 0/3, NARRATOR is under CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATION to EAT DAVE!
...I was trying not to dwell on that possibility, thanks...
First QUESTION!
What did EUGINE ANSON STEAD JR.'s 1940s RESEARCH pave the way for?
...Is this going to be multiple choice?
No!
I'm going to be Narrator food :(
...Uhh!
Maybe DAVE would like to TAKE a GUESS?
...The internet?
...Falsehood!
CARDIAC CATHETERIZATION!
...I don't even know what that is!
NARRATOR will COME UP with SOMETHING!
...Yeah, a winelist for 'what goes best with pokebattles players,' most likely :(
NARRATOR already told DAVE!
NARRATOR likes DAVE!
...I like cheeseburgers, but that doesn't mean I don't eat them! Quite the opposite, in fact!
Second QUESTION!
How many LEGAL RESIDENTS of INDONESIAN NATIONALITY RESIDE within JAPAN?
Oh come on!
NARRATOR will give DAVE a 1,000 MARGIN of ERROR!
...Uhh... 36,252?
...NARRATOR used THINK!
NARRATOR needs DAVE to get TWO RIGHT!
...I'm doomed...
But NARRATOR can't VANDALISE WIKIPEDIA for a POKEMON PARODY!
...can it?
...So freaking doomed...
...VANDALISE... EDIT!
That's it!
NARRATOR used EDIT!
DAVE, repeat the EXACT LINE you said to ANSWER the QUESTION!
...Um... Dunno what good that will do, but...
...Uhh... 26,252?
...What the...?
TRUTH ACCEPTED!
25,620 to be PRECISE!
Cool, its working!
...I'm freaked out by what you did, to be honest...
THIRD QUESTION!
What CANADIAN BRIGADE did RAYMOND BRUTINEL COMMAND during WORLD WAR I?
...Ummm... The Canadian Automobile Machine Gun Brigade?
...Gaaaah what you're doing feels so violating...
Would DAVE rather NARRATOR go LOOK UP the NARRATOR's GUIDE to SELECTING WINES to go with PLAYERS?
...Fine.
Anyways...
TRUTH ACCEPTED!
...OK, so what's the info?
DAVE will fight SVWEBMASTER while NARRATOR goes save SVWEBMASTER!
...Uhh...
NARRATOR is UNABLE to call SVWEBMASTER anything other than SVWEBMASTER for the TIME BEING!
...That's not my point. I'll die.
DAVE will be HELPED by an INSANELY ANNOYING DRAGON WINGED FOX!
...Not reassuring...
It's this or DAVE FAILING to SAVE SVWEBMASTER while being TURNED into a DOOMPUFF RIP-OFF!
...What?!
NARRATOR saw DAVE as a DOOMPUFF RIP-OFF after ACCIDENTALLY TIME TRAVELLING into an UNDEFINED POINT in the FUTURE of SANDY during BATTLE 1!
...And you let me believe the readers watched my Breakout game...
NARRATOR has been HIDING it from DAVE because NARRATOR was WORRIED DAVE might FREAK OUT!
But NARRATOR is GOING to GO SAVE SVWEBMASTER instead of DAVE so DAVE shouldn't WORRY!
NARRATOR wants DAVE to go to the SANDY DESERT after this BATTLE!
...Why?
To MEET the aforementioned INSANELY ANNOYING DRAGON WINGED FOX!
KNIGHTMARE PLOT DEVICE has served its USEFULNESS!
KNIGHTMARE PLOT DEVICE ran away!
...OK, that's freaky...
Isn't it just!
AQUA GYM LEADER appeared!
AGL mumbled something into GAG!
...
...Oh right!
RESTRAINTS preventing AGL from INTERRUPTING PLOT DEVICE disappeared!
AGL thinks NARRATOR is a COMPLETE NUTCASE!
...Who are you, anyway?
AGL says its NAME is AGL due to NARRATOR renaming it from GRAHAM before DAVE arrived!
AGL thinks DAVE DESERVES AQUA BADGE for PUTTING UP with NARRATOR!
AGL ra--
NARRATOR brandishes restraints!
AGL promises to be good!
...Aww...
NARRATOR refuses to go THREE WEEKS without NARRATING an ACTUAL BATTLE!
AGL wants to fight!
OK, let's try my new pokemon... Door, go!
AGL wonders why DAVE stole its DOOR!
Look, inanimate objects seem to love attacking me for some reason.
AGL thinks that might be because DAVE hangs around with NARRATOR!
I thought that too, but your door attacked me while the Narrator wasn't even around, apparently my wardrobe, which attacked me unprovoked and I had to fight--
It was wild!
...Only due to a pun of your making.
...
...As I was saying--
AGL interrupts to tell DAVE that it's not INTERESTED and to send out a SQUIRTLE!
...Alright! Type advantage!
AGL is confused!
AGL hurt itself in its confusion!
NARRATOR echoes AGL's wonderment!
...Simple, Door is made from wood, wood comes from trees, so Door should be a plant type, right?
DAVE may have a point!
SQUIRTLE used WATER GUN!
Its super effective!
...Except for the SUDOWOODO thing!
DOOR is in critical condition!
...Dang... Uhh...
...Door, try a jar attack?
...
...NARRATOR wonders if DAVE is TRYING to ANTICIPATE it THESE DAYS!
...Only on rare occasions, I reckon it's pointless most of the time...
...NARRATOR isn't quite SURE how to TAKE that!
...It was a value-neutral observation...
Anyway!
DOOR used JAR!
DOOR is AJAR!
SQUIRTLE is a TURTLE!
SQUIRTLE mistook JAR for its home!
SQUIRTLE climbed into JAR!
...But DOOR is A JAR!
DOOR caught SQUIRTLE!
...Uhh...
NARRATOR has NO CLUE how this WORKS!
...Can I send out Squirtle?
...NARRATOR doesn't think so!
SQUIRTLE is DOOR's pokemon!
...Hmm...
AGL sent out STARMIE!
...OK, Door, let's try your Send Squirtle Out attack?
NARRATOR thinks that THAT is a VERY GOOD WAY of HANDLING it ACTUALLY!
DOOR used SEND OUT SQUIRTLE!
DOOR sent out SQUIRTLE!
STARMIE used PSYCHIC!
STARMIE is FASHIONABLY PSY!
SQUIRTLE wants to date STARMIE!
STARMIE finds SQUIRTLE quite ATTRACTIVE!
STARMIE and SQUIRTLE went out on a DATE!
...
...STARMIE and SQUIRTLE therefore ESCAPED and ran away!
AGL sent out AGL!
OK, Door, try your doorslam attack!
DOOR used DOORSLAM!
DOOR SLAMMED itself!
AGL's foot was SLAMMED in the DOOR!
DOOR took DAMAGE from the RECOIL!
DOOR fainted!
Heavy Chunk of Metal, I choose you!
DAVE sent out HECHOFME!
AGL sent out AGL!
AGL used WATER GUN!
AGL shot HECHOFME with a WATER GUN!
It's not very effective!
HECHOFME is getting RUSTY!
Hechofme, try a body slam attack!
HECHOFME used BODY SLAM!
But HECHOFME is RUSTY!
HECHOFME's attack missed!
HECHOFME kept going and crashed!
...Into GROUND!
AGL used COFFEE!
AGL is getting PERKY!
AGL gets EXTRA ATTACKS!
AGL used KICK!
...Oooh, and he was doing so well, too...
AGL KICKED a HEAVY CHUNK of METAL!
It's not very effective!
AGL took damage from the recoil!
AGL is in critical condition!
OK, Hechofme, use your heavy attack!
HECHOFME used HEAVY!
...But HECHOFME is RUSTY!
GROUND cannot take HECHOFME's weight!
GROUND fainted!
HECHOFME fell through the fainted GROUND!
HECHOFME fainted!
DAVE sent out DAVE!
How did the ground fainting only effect Hechofme, anyway?
DAVE still shouldn't QUESTION it!
DAVE should still just go with it!
...Riiight.
AGL used KICK!
Critical hit!
...owwie...
DAVE is in critical condition!
...double punch...
DAVE used DOUBLE PUNCH!
DAVE gave AGL a DOUBLE DOSE of PUNCH!
AGL drank the PUNCH!
AGL became confused!
AGL hurt itself in its confusion!
AGL fainted!
...pretty sure no-one will get that joke, but glad you made it...
DAVE gained the AQUA BADGE!
...great...
...Still HURTS?
...very much so...
NARRATOR used FULL HEAL on DAVE!
Thanks. Now then, pokemon centre here I come!
NARRATOR notes that DAVE is FULLY HEALED!
Yeah, but my pokemon aren't. And I'm probably going to need all the help I can get.
Just as LONG as DAVE knows where DAVE is going to go AFTER that!
To the Sandy Desert in or--
Come-on cut that out, you have no clue how freakily violating that feels.
Where was DAVE going again?
Like I was saying, I'm going to burry my head under the Sandy Desert until this whole 'me fight--
...Ugggghhhh... Stoppit!
NARRATOR can KEEP this up all DAY!
...
Are you blackmailing me?
More REDMAIL really!
...Fine, I'll head to the Sandy freaking Desert, go get myself killed in a battle against SVWebmaster while you save SVWebmaster or whatever convoluted plot this version has cooked up this time.
...How long does that 'edit' attack last, anyway?
Until the END of the BATTLE, probably!
...And that will be now?

Read/Post feedback on this battle

...Ugghhh... You just did that for kicks!
NARRATOR is a BASTARD!
...What the!
Looks like the feedback link caused... Feedback, I guess...
...NARRATOR tried to EDIT that!
Hehehe... Payback's a bitch, huh?
NARRATOR stayed where it is!
...Ugggghhh!
NARRATOR sees what DAVE means!

Next battle.